Day 5

This is my fifth day without a cigarette. Zyban makes it fairly easy to resist any real temptation to light up. So from that perspective all is right.

The down site is that I feel restless, can only carry out stupid routine work and it seems like ages that I have relaxed. I have got all sorts of things that really need to be done, but I can't seem to care less. This restlessness and lack of focus and attentention needs to go away quickly, because I can't afford to waste too much of my time now.

The last cigarette

Back from skiing.

I said today would be my official stop date, but I actually stopped yesterday. So that is one day gone. It went reasonably well. So I presume the Zyban does it's work ( I'm on two a day since yesterday evening). I have been thinking about fags most of yesterday afternoon, but it wasn't as bad as it wouild be with patches or nothing at all.

Day 2

It is amazing. The Zyban does seem to reduce your smoking apetite. After day one the amount I smoked was dramatically reduced. I estimate by about 40%. And that was with no deliberate trying from my part.

I do think Zyban reduces the pleasant effect of smoking. Smoking isn't as nice as it used to be. I give it another day of ad lib smoking. Tomorrow is a horrible travel day anyway: car, plane, train, car. Lot's of opportunities not to smoke and definitely out of routine.

A new dawn!

The first entry in an I-am-going-to-stop-smoking-blog has to be a platitude. The whole concept of these blogs is, really. There must be a hundred thousand of them out there. Anyway, here is hundred thousand and one. But this one is different, because this one is about me me me. And there you have it: the purpose of this blog. Solely created to provide me with a medium to read back my experiences later on or, if all goes wrong, when I make a renewed attempt.

Hopefully this is the final attempt to kick the habit. I am ever so prepared this time. Planned stop date is 28 February 2005. I suppose apart from being smoke free for ten months about a decade ago, I never really wanted to give up. But that's all changed now. For the past six months or so I have been thinking about the benefits of giving up: no worries about running out of tobacco or rizla's; no worries about how horrible I must smell for non-smokers; no more sneaking outside when I visit non-smoking friends. And then there is all the usual stuff. I noticed I started coughing lately. Suprised that that only happens after fourteen years and when I had a good go on the rowing machine the otherday I was completely out of breath after ten minutes.

The first (and really only previous) attempt was completed unaided. I was cycling and suddenly decided that it was time to give up. No preparation, no planned start date, nothing of the sort. I just through my cigarettes out. It lasted about ten months. Not smoking had become some sort of record-breaking challenge. 1 day without a fag, 1 week, 1 month 2 month etc. That become very boring and I had a cigarette in a pub. End of story.

The last few years I tried the patches, although I think I never wanted to give up really. I don't like these patches. You're still on nicotine, so your body still get's what it wants. It takes three months before you can say you're off nicotine. I had thought about three weeks in complete alpine solitude, far away from any fag supply. Something like being parachuted into Alaska 400 miles from the nearest settlement. Discarded this idea as being to extreme (for now).

I am using Zyban instead. I just had my first tablet. It is a bit worrying that Zyban was originally developed as a antidepressant. But what the heck. During the first week of the Zyban treatment you're supposed to continue smoking. Apparently, Zyban reduces your apetite for a fag, so in that week you're supposed to automatically cut-down on smoking. I just can't image that at all. Then, after a week: total withdrawal from cigarettes.